Before I share my release dates, I want to give a word of caution. I cannot predict when my anxiety and sensory issues keep me from doing what I love. I also work full time as a computer programmer and we have a massive project entering the home stretch. Much as I'd love to devote myself 100% to writing, I can't financially. With that being said....
Official Upcoming Release Schedule!
Due to changes in how my publisher assigns dates, I won't have release dates until I finish the book. I'm currently working on:
Taking the Realm which is book 3 of Sha and Connor's trilogy (previously titled Shaking the Balance)
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Upcoming Releases!!
Before I share my release dates, I want to give a word of caution. I cannot predict when my anxiety and sensory issues keep me from doing what I love. I also work full time as a computer programmer and we have a massive project entering the home stretch. Much as I'd love to devote myself 100% to writing, I can't financially. With that being said....
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Winning my battles
So many of you have shared my ups and downs this past year, esp my downs and my struggles to understand what was happening.
I'm not under any illusions I won't have downs again but as I understand the differences between overwhelming sensory processing overloads and my anxiety, I am finding ways to head off the attacks.
I have my invaluable blanket. I have my aromatherapy to ground me. I have music that drowns out all of the noise that drives me so crazy, including the infernal ringing that never stops.
For literally the first time in my life, I feel like I'm gaining CONTROL over my life, instead of applying bandaids. In the past few weeks I've had countless starts to attacks that once would have practically crippled me. And so far, I've WON.
Those who have shared my journey for so long can tell a difference, I'm sure. Every single person who has left me messages of support and encouragement, who have been there for me through my dark times, thank you will never be enough. You've all helped me gain ground over my struggles so I can learn to live the life I want, rather than in fear of the next attack.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Sharing my journey
I decided to be open about my struggles with anxiety the last time I vanished for a while. I thought I had everything under control, but I started to struggle yet again. I had heard about something called a weighted blanket, literally a blanket filled with pellets to a certain weight, and finally I decided to find one and try it. I take enough medications that I didn't want to have to take any more, particularly for anxiety since I figured there HAD to be a way to control it without medication.
Best. Decision. Ever.
Having purchased my weighted blanket from a wonderful woman local to me, I've started to see a vast improvement. I'm able to control my feelings of being overwhelmed. I also realized something.
I'm not as anxious as I first thought.
I've known for years that I had an auditory processing disorder. Basically, I can hear volume just fine but I can't always understand speech. It sounds garbled, like gibberish, or sometimes I just hear the complete wrong word.
Through my research when I was looking into weighted blankets, I realized something crucial. It's not just an auditory processing disorder. It's a SENSORY processing disorder.
I experience some of my senses differently than other people, most significant being my auditory and tactile senses. Things that don't bother most people or are just minor annoyances are incredibly overwhelming to me, to the point where I start to shut down just to cope. I described some of my experiences in a previous post and I will strive to describe more as I'm able.
This is something I struggled with my entire life, never really knowing what exactly was wrong. Now I'm starting to see the difference between when I'm going through sensory overload and when I'm having anxiety/panic attacks.
I'll be copying over some of my statuses from Facebook where I described what I was going through so you can follow my journey. I intend to share my experiences as I start to understand and cope with my sensory issues. I'll also share my experiences with my weighted blanket and my weighted shawl (the shawl I use at work).
I hope to share these experiences to potentially help others identify if they have similar problems as well as to hopefully encourage others to speak about their own issues. Too often, things like anxiety are almost taboo. Nobody wants to talk about them. Well, I want to share my journey.
So, let me introduce myself.
I'm Lindsay Avalon, author of Dark Fantasy Romance.
I have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (emphasis on hyperactive ;) )
I struggle with anxiety.
I struggle with a sensory processing disorder.
These things do not define me, they just make me that much more unique.
Lovely to meet you my lovelies. What's your story?
A Mates Bite by Milly Taiden
After an explosive night of passion during a scenting ceremony, Karla Alves is sure she was just a one night stand for the man she'd been crushing on for years. She teased him and pleased him, and Nate hasn't been around since. Her fear of becoming clingy kept her from risking her heart and asking for more than a few hours of skin sin.
Mission: Crack her walls
She. Is. His. Nathan Wolfe marked Karla. His mate. Deeply involved in pack politics, Nate has had to stay away. When his sister warns that Karla needs him more than he thinks, he'll discover a bundle of secrets only his wolf can sniff out. But getting the woman he cares about to let down her guard may prove to be his undoing.
Mission: Embrace the bite
With Karla's wayward sister wreaking havoc and friends needing more of his time than ever, Nate will have to rearrange his priorities if he ever hopes to earn Karla's trust. But will time with her be enough? Only true love and a wolf's promise can hold together a relationship created with a bite, a scenting, and a hope for tomorrow.
Amazon.UK - http://amzn.to/1d4KZnC
B&N -http://bit.ly/1gpjOnx
ARe -http://bit.ly/1gVzpvP
Email: millytaidenauthor@gmail.com
Website: http://www.millytaiden.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/millytaidenpage
Facebook Friend Page: http://www.facebook.com/milly.taiden
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/millytaiden
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Living with sensory processing disorder
I want to start by saying that I describe this not for sympathy or anything like that, but to help you understand what I'm talking about and to maybe help others identify what could be happening to them.
First off, for those who've never had tinnitus, go onto you tube and look up a video that shows a game like Call of Duty and uses a flashbang grenade. That high pitched sound that plays after it goes off? I hear that every second of every day. I've never known what true silence is.
If there's any kind of background noise, I start having issues comprehending speech. Put on headphones, turn the volume up on some heavy metal to a level that's just where you can barely hear if someone talks to you and then try to have a conversation. Oh and do it without facing the person directly, since many times people forget I need them to look at me.
Certain sounds that don't bug others are unbearable to me. I get supremely anxious if someone taps, smacks their lips, chews too loud, or slurps. I'm not talking the usual annoyance many feel. I literally will be on the verge of a panic attack within about 2 minutes if I can't leave the room. Not even having other sounds can distract me from it either. i can be watching TV and my hubby be across the room and if he slurps, I hear it over a blasting tv and start to freak. I can't go into the whole list of sounds that affect me like that but there are many more.
Crowds are horrible for me. i can handle restaurants for a short period then it'll start to feel like the walls are closing jn on me. except instead of physical walls, I'm being crushed by sound. I'm social but I never could handle bars or clubs or things like that. Malls and stores are hard, especially if there's music playing. I usually am crawling out of my skin to leave by the time i am finished with dinner out.
I have major difficulty watching TV in a totally dark room. It's like having someone shine a flashlight directly in my eyes and can trigger migraines. I don't have as much trouble with visual stuff as other things though.
When it comes to tactile issues, one of the most excruciating experiences happens when I get a mild fever or random times. My skin literally hurts EVERYWHERE. I'm talking take a pumice stone and rub it vigorously on your arm the rub cloth over it. Having any kind of clothing touching me is so painful I want to cry. Other times, certain fabrics just feel wrong to me, I can't stand tags on my clothes, and I loathe wearing any kind of pants except for pajama pants. I now no longer wear anything but skirts and leggings. Leggings I can handle because they're super soft, but jeans? So uncomfortable.
Certain other textures make me crazy. I'm addicted to lotion because if my hands get too dry I literally freak out. I mean must find lotion or I'll go into a panic attack. Cotton balls are torture devices for me, weird I know but they kind of crunch and they're horrific things.
Finally, human contact. This one hurts for a different reason. I can't explain why but there are many times i don't like to be touched, whether its a hug or a casual caress on my arm. If someone rubs my arm with a light touch, I've got maybe 30 seconds before it starts to feel like sand paper. There are only 2 people I've ever been able to stand to have cuddle with me for prolonged periods of time: my daddy and my husband. The feeling of isolation sucks. You want affection but at the same time you don't.
This ended up longer than j thought it would but I've done my best to describe how I feel. As you can see, most of my issues center around auditory things but tactile can alsp be a significant problem for me. Now imagine living with this your entire life and never knowing it wasn't normal. going through school unable to follow a lot of lectures, unable to follow meetings at work, unable to enjoy sinple human contact like everyone else.
Then imagine discovering the wonders of a simple combination of pellets and fabric that can help relieve a fraction of the anxiety caused by my sensory overload.
This is why I say that my weighted blanket changed my life.